Fifty five, and all of it happened inside one marriage
Posted as only_ever_with_her
- Looking for
- somebody willing to be the first stranger I have ever done this with
- Experience
- Thirty years of it, entirely with one person, none of it with anyone else.
- Around
- Sefton, Liverpool
We were married thirty years and all of this was in it, both ways round, worked out privately between the two of us in the way people did before you could look anything up. She died in twenty twenty three. I am not writing this from the middle of grief, I have done that part, or as much of it as gets done.
Fifty five, Sefton, and here is the strange position I am in. Thirty years of experience and I have never once done any of this with somebody I did not already love. I have never negotiated with a stranger. I have never had a first conversation about limits with a person whose face I could not read. By the standards of this board I am simultaneously the most experienced person on it and a complete beginner.
What I am after is one person, and I am genuinely open on direction, because with her it moved between the two of us depending on the year and neither of us ever made a thing of it.
I am warm, I am hopeless at small talk, and I would like to start with a coffee and a very ordinary conversation.
Not looking to replicate what I had, which cannot be done and would be unfair to ask of anybody. Not looking for anything quick. Not looking to talk about her at length with somebody I have just met, though I will not pretend she did not exist.