Two switches, north London, looking for one person for both of us
Posted as bookends_pair
- Looking for
- a third who wants a dynamic with two people, not a visit
- Experience
- Both of us fifteen years in, together for eight.
- Around
- north of the river, London
We are both switches, which in a couple means the arrangement at home moves around, and we have realised that a third person makes it substantially more interesting rather than more complicated.
Mid forties, north of the river, together eight years, both around fifteen years in this. We are not new to any part of it and we are not looking for anybody to educate us. What we want is one person, ongoing, who wants a real dynamic with both of us rather than an evening. That means being written to on ordinary days, having opinions about where we go, and being genuinely annoyed with us occasionally. The arrangements we have had that failed all failed the same way: everybody was polite, nobody was actually in it, and it dissolved in about four months without anyone noticing.
Which way round it goes is genuinely open and probably shifts. If you need to be the only dominant in the room permanently then this is not it. If you need everything to be decided for you permanently, likewise.
We are not offering a relationship in the sense of moving anybody in, and we are not looking to become a triad on paper. We are looking for something with weight that is nevertheless a third thing rather than a merger.
Both of us will talk to you. Not one of us with the other watching. That is the part people find hardest and it is the part we care most about.