An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

Signed out. You are reading, not posting. Log In Sign Up

Dominants south east, London

Dominant man, south east, and not here to be anyone's first of anything

Posted as long_vowels

Looking for
a submissive who is interested in me rather than in an idea
Experience
Thirteen years, three dynamics, two of them long.
Around
south east, London

Roughly a third of the messages I get are, one way or another, about my being Black, and I have got to the age where I would rather put that at the top of a post than discover it at the fourth exchange.

I am forty one. I came here from Lagos at twenty two, I work in structural engineering, and I have been doing this for thirteen years, which is longer than most people who write to me have been out of university. I am dominant in a fairly traditional way: a household, standards, one person, an arrangement that runs for years rather than months. What I am not is an experience somebody is collecting. If your message tells me what you have always wanted to try, and the thing you have always wanted to try is a category rather than a person, I will not answer, and it is not because I am offended. It is because I know exactly how that goes by month three.

South east, own house, one grown daughter who is nothing to do with any of this. I will say, because it saves time later, that I have no interest in being anybody's argument with their family. If your people would have a problem with me, that is a conversation for you to have with them.

I am formal in the early stages and people sometimes read that as coldness. It is caution. I have been burned by enthusiasm that turned out to be about something else. I would like to hear what you have actually done, what you have decided against, and why. That tells me more than a list of things you like ever could.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

Before you answer this

The handbook covers the part that comes next. These three are the ones that matter to a post like this one.

Also in London

All posts in London →

You have read one. Now write one.

Write a post like this where the people reading it are near you, and answer the ones that are already there.

Write your post Already a member? Log in