Autistic sub, south of the river, I need you to be literal
Posted as tuesday_quiet
- Looking for
- a dominant who says the actual thing rather than hinting at it
- Experience
- Four years, one dynamic of eighteen months.
- Around
- south of the river, London
I am autistic, which in this context means one specific thing: if you hint, I will miss it, and then you will think I ignored you.
Thirty seven, south of the river, four years in, one dynamic of eighteen months that worked extremely well because he wrote things down. Instructions in plain language. Expectations stated rather than implied. A weekly check in at the same time every week, which sounds unromantic and was the single best part of it.
Where things go wrong for me is the unspoken layer. I do not read a change of tone, I take questions at face value, and I will answer what you literally asked. Several people have read that as defiance or as being difficult. One decided I was topping from the bottom, when I had simply not understood that the request was a request.
So I need somebody who is comfortable saying exactly what they mean, every time, without feeling it spoils the atmosphere. In return you get someone who does what she is told with unusual precision, remembers every rule permanently, and never sulks. Sensory things: loud rooms are unmanageable for me, so events and busy pubs are out. Quiet places, daytime, and I need to know the plan in advance.
I do not need this explained to me and I am not looking for anybody who wants to be understanding at me about it. I have had a lot of that. I want a dynamic, run by somebody clear, with the same steadiness I would give back.