An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives east, London

Complete beginner, east London, everything I know came out of books

Posted as understudy_p

Looking for
someone who does not mind that I am starting from nothing
Experience
None in person. Two years of reading and one long online conversation.
Around
east, London

I have started this post four times and deleted three, so this version is going up whatever it reads like.

Twenty six, east London, finishing a postgrad and working part time around it. Everything I know about this came from books, forums and one online conversation that ran eight months and taught me an enormous amount about myself and nothing whatsoever about being in a room with another person. When it ended I realised I had never seen his face and had not minded, which I am still thinking about. So I am new. Genuinely new. I have the vocabulary and none of the practice, and I am aware those are not the same thing.

What I would like is to meet somebody in daylight, in public, and talk for an hour with nothing else planned. Then probably do that again. I am not being coy. I actually want the slow version, and if that is frustrating to you then we are a bad fit and it is better to know now. One thing I have noticed reading this board is that everybody says go slowly and then the messages arrive at speed. I would like to actually do the thing I said I wanted, even if it takes months.

I am nervous about getting it wrong, about being a burden, and about wasting the time of somebody experienced. I am told all three are normal. I am also told I apologise too much, so I will stop. Please do not send me a protocol document in the first message. Please do not tell me I do not know what I want. I might not, but I would rather work that out with somebody kind than be corrected by a stranger.

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