Sixty one, widowed, and starting this rather later than most
Posted as winter_coat_j
- Looking for
- company first and something gentler after that
- Experience
- Almost none. One marriage that had this in it without ever using a word for it.
- Around
- the commuter belt, London
I expect most people will scroll past the age and that is their right, but I would rather post honestly than shave ten years off and disappoint somebody across a table.
I am sixty one. My husband died four years ago after a long illness and afterwards I did all the sensible things: sold the house, moved out to the commuter belt to be near my sister, joined a choir. What I did not do was tell anyone that the part of the marriage I miss most is a part I had no language for. He was in charge, quietly, for thirty years, and neither of us ever used a word for it.
I have read a great deal this past year and discovered other people have words for all of it, which was a strange evening. What I would like is somebody nearer my own age. Company first: lunch, walking, being taken somewhere without having to decide where. Then, if it is right, the rest of it, which I would want gentle and old fashioned rather than elaborate. I am not looking for equipment or for an evening that requires planning permission.
I should say that I am not looking to be anybody's secret, and I am not interested in a man who is married unless his wife is entirely in the picture. At sixty one I have run out of appetite for complication of that sort. I am not fragile, I am not confused, and I do not need rescuing. I taught for thirty four years and there is very little I have not heard said out loud.
I would ask only that you write in sentences and live near enough to be seen more than once a month.