Dominant man, west, out of practice and honest about that
Posted as written_in_pencil
- Looking for
- someone patient with a person who is rebuilding this
- Experience
- Fifteen years, then eight away, now starting again.
- Around
- west, London
I was confident about this once. My marriage ended two years ago, and I have discovered that eight years of not doing something takes more of it away than I expected.
Forty nine, west London, one grown son, a job I like and a flat that is still too tidy. Before the marriage I had two long dynamics and I thought I knew what I was doing. Coming back, I find I second guess myself constantly, which is not a great look in someone who is meant to be deciding things. I have thought about why, and I think it is that I used to mistake certainty for competence. The certainty went with everything else. What is left is the actual skill, which is paying attention, and I am better at that than I was at thirty five.
So: someone who does not need me to perform infallibility. I will ask questions, I will occasionally say I got that wrong, and I will not pretend a silence means I planned it. I want something ongoing and domestic rather than a series of evenings. I am not interested in anything that happens only in text.
I will not be anybody's project. There is a kind of message I get that is really an offer to fix me, and I am not broken, just rusty. I would also rather not talk about my ex wife for the first month, and I will extend you the same courtesy.