I am bad at messaging and it has cost me three good people
Posted as bad_at_messages
- Looking for
- somebody who will meet early rather than write for a month
- Experience
- Ten years, four dynamics, all better in person than on paper.
- Around
- the South Bay, Los Angeles
I am not good at this part. I read a message, I think about it properly, I plan to reply in the evening, and then it is Thursday. Three people I liked have drifted away in exactly that manner and every one of them was right to.
Thirty six, the South Bay, dominant, ten years in. In a room I am a completely different proposition: attentive, decisive, and much warmer than my eleven word replies suggest. So my proposal is procedural. Two or three messages, enough to know we are not wasting each other's time, and then somewhere public in daylight inside two weeks. If that goes well we arrange the next one before we leave, because anything left to be arranged later gets arranged never.
What I want is a regular dynamic with a fixed rhythm, since a fixed rhythm is the only thing that survives my particular flaw. A set evening. A set day. Something in the calendar that does not require me to be charming on a screen at eleven at night in order to continue existing.
I am direct in person, I am not remotely dramatic, and I would far rather hear a difficult thing plainly than have it hinted at for two weeks while I fail to notice.
If long, layered correspondence is the part you enjoy most, I am the wrong person, and I would rather say so than disappoint you in slow motion, which is my one real talent.