Four years sober, and most of this scene happens with a drink in hand
Posted as four_years_dry
- Looking for
- somebody for whom a dry evening is not a sacrifice
- Experience
- Seven years, three of them while I was not well.
- Around
- downtown, Los Angeles
Four years sober this spring. That is the most important thing about me and it is also the thing that has quietly made this difficult, because nearly every suggestion I get involves a bar, a party, or somebody's living room with a bottle open on the table.
Thirty five, downtown, submissive, seven years in. Three of those years were during the drinking and I am not proud of how I conducted myself in them. I have made the apologies I could make and I am not carrying it around, but I am not going to pretend it did not happen either.
What I need is simple. No alcohol in anything we do together. That is not a rule about your whole life. It is a rule about the hours I am in. People either shrug at this immediately or spend three messages explaining why one glass would be fine, and the second group tells me everything I need to know.
Beyond that I want structure and I want to be useful. Daily expectations, a standard I am measured against, somebody who notices when I go quiet, because going quiet is how it started last time.
I am not looking to be anyone's project and I am not anybody's cautionary tale. I have a sponsor, a program and a life. What I do not have is this part of it, and I would like it back on better terms than I had it on before.