An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the Westside, Los Angeles

Polyamorous, honest arithmetic, and one genuinely open evening

Posted as one_slot_open

Looking for
a submissive who wants a defined place rather than all of me
Experience
Seventeen years, two concurrent dynamics, both long.
Around
the Westside, Los Angeles

Let me put the numbers first, since that is what most people want and almost nobody asks for. I have a partner of twelve years who I live with. I have a second dynamic that has run four years and takes one evening a week. What is actually available is one further evening most weeks and one weekend a month. That is the whole of it and it will not quietly expand in six months because we like each other.

Forty four, the Westside, dominant, seventeen years in and openly polyamorous for eleven of them. Everybody in my life knows about everybody else. Nobody is being managed. If we get anywhere at all you will meet my partner, not for approval, but because secrets between people who share a household are how this goes wrong.

What I want to put in that slot is not a reduced version of a relationship. It is a real dynamic with its own shape, its own rules and eventually its own history, that happens to occupy a defined amount of time.

I am unromantic about scheduling to a degree some people find chilly. Calendars are the entire infrastructure of a life like mine.

The person this does not suit is somebody who wants to be the center of another person's life. That is a completely reasonable thing to want and I cannot give it to anyone. I would rather be plain about it in the first paragraph than let it become a slow disappointment.

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