An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the Valley, Los Angeles

Divorced, kids half the time, and the discretion is a legal matter

Posted as the_custody_clause

Looking for
a submissive who can be patient with a very careful person
Experience
Thirteen years, and four of them spent on pause.
Around
the Valley, Los Angeles

My divorce took two years and was not friendly. There is a custody arrangement, and there is an ex husband who would read anything he found as ammunition, and that is why I am careful in ways that look excessive from the outside.

Forty, the Valley, dominant, thirteen years in and four of them spent doing nothing at all because I could not risk it. What that means in practice. Nothing with my face in it. Nothing kept anywhere. I do not host, because my children live in that house half the time and their home is not going to be part of this. I am free on the alternate weeks and essentially unavailable on the others, and no amount of goodwill changes that.

What I can give inside those constraints is real. A whole week, every other week, with proper attention in it. I plan well. I am consistent. I have never let anybody down on a day I promised them.

I want something ongoing rather than a run of evenings, and I want somebody who can hold structure on their own during the weeks I am unavailable, because that is when a dynamic shaped like mine either works or quietly dies.

Do not write to tell me I am overthinking the legal side. You are not my lawyer and you have not sat in that room. And please do not ask about my children beyond the fact that they exist and they come first.

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