Six years with one person, both ways, and it ended in March
Posted as after_six_with_one
- Looking for
- somebody prepared to be compared to something that worked
- Experience
- Six years, one relationship, both roles inside it.
- Around
- the Presqu'île, Lyon
For six years I had the thing everybody on this board is looking for. One person, both directions, no negotiation needed by the end, a shorthand that took years to build. It ended in March for reasons entirely unconnected to any of this, and I have spent five months discovering that I have no idea how to do this with a stranger.
Thirty two, switch, central. My entire experience is one relationship. I have never negotiated with somebody who did not already know me. I have not had a first conversation about limits in my adult life.
The honest risk with me is comparison. I will be measuring, at least at first, and I would rather warn a person than have them work it out. I do not think that makes me unavailable. I think it makes me somebody who is six months out of something long, which is an ordinary thing to be.
What I want eventually is the same shape again. One person, both roles, built slowly, on the assumption of years rather than months. What I want immediately is to meet somebody and talk for a long time without either of us deciding anything at all.
Not looking for anything intense this year. Not looking for someone who wants to hear about him in any detail, because I am not going to provide it. Not looking to be anybody's rebound, while not pretending I am not partly somebody else's.