An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches Villeurbanne, Lyon

I came for a course, I am staying, and I am tired of explaining

Posted as not_temporary

Looking for
somebody who will treat me as a resident rather than a season
Experience
Three years, both sides, all of it since I moved here.
Around
Villeurbanne, Lyon

Twice this year somebody has asked me, in the second message, when I am leaving. Not whether. When. I came here for a course three years ago, I finished it, I have a job and a lease and a doctor in this city, and I am apparently still filed under temporary.

Twenty six, switch, Villeurbanne, three years in this, all of it here. I understand where the assumption comes from. Every September a few thousand people arrive and every June a good number of them go, and anybody who has been on this board a while has been left by at least one of them.

But it has become a way of not investing in somebody, and I have been on the receiving end of it twice. Both times the person was pleasant, kept everything light, and was clearly waiting to see whether I would still be here in a year. Both times I was, and by then they had found somebody else.

What I want is a long dynamic. I lead slightly more than I follow. Structure, rules, an evening that does not move, and somebody who will build on the assumption that it continues. I share a flat and cannot host easily, I have very little money, and I have a great deal of time.

Not looking for anyone who wants to keep it light until I have proved my permanence. Not looking for a person who will introduce me as new. Not looking for anything that quietly runs out in June.

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