An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the Presqu'île, Lyon

I want somebody whose life is already full without me in it

Posted as bring_your_own_life

Looking for
a submissive with friends, work and a week of their own
Experience
Ten years, three dynamics, one that became far too large.
Around
the Presqu'île, Lyon

Four years ago I was, for about eight months, the entire social world of somebody I was responsible for. It happened slowly and neither of us noticed until she had stopped seeing her friends and the whole weight of her week was resting on two evenings with me. Ending it was the hardest thing I have done in this.

Thirty three, dominant, central, ten years in. Since then the first thing I look for is a life. Friends who have nothing to do with any of this. Work that matters to the person doing it. A weekend with something in it. If those are missing, I am not the answer, and I have learned to say so early rather than discover it in month six.

What I want inside a full life is a long dynamic with real structure. Rules that run daily, service, a set evening, correction that is spoken. I am attentive and quite strict and I do not disappear for a fortnight.

In a city this size there is a second reason for the rule. If somebody's entire world is thirty people who all know each other, an ending does not stay private, and I have watched that happen to two friends in three years.

Not looking for anyone at the beginning of a bad year. Not looking for a person who wants to be somebody's whole week. Not looking to be told this is cold, which I have been, by a person I should probably not have been talking to in the first place.

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