I have led exactly once and it did not go well
Posted as once_and_badly
- Looking for
- somebody experienced who is willing to be honest with a beginner
- Experience
- Four years as a submissive, then one attempt at the other side.
- Around
- Villeurbanne, Lyon
Last year I led for the first time and I got it wrong in a way I have thought about ever since. Not dangerously. I missed that she had stopped enjoying something about twenty minutes before she said so, and when she did say so I apologised for far too long, which made the whole thing about me.
Twenty nine, Villeurbanne. Four years as a submissive before that, which gave me one useful thing: I know exactly what a lazy check in feels like from the other end. It did not, as it turns out, teach me how to run an evening.
So I am posting honestly rather than confidently. What I want is a submissive with more experience than me, who would rather have a beginner who says so than somebody performing competence. I am willing to be corrected in detail and I would prefer it plainly.
What I am drawn to is structure rather than anything physical. Rules, service, being reported to, holding somebody to a standard across months. Very little impact, partly because I do not yet trust my own judgement about it.
I am aware that in this city an admission like this will be known within a month if I am unlucky, and I have decided that is a fair price for not misleading anybody. Not looking for someone who wants to be led with certainty, because I have not earned that. Not looking to be taught in a way that makes me a project. Not looking for anyone who thinks four years underneath counts for nothing, because it counts for a great deal, just not for the part I am missing.