Three messages, then we meet, or we stop. It has served me well
Posted as three_then_coffee
- Looking for
- somebody willing to be in a room with me within a fortnight
- Experience
- Twelve years, four dynamics, all of them begun within two weeks.
- Around
- Croix-Rousse, Lyon
My rule is three messages. Enough to establish that we can both write a sentence and want roughly the same thing, and then a meeting, in daylight, for an hour, with nothing at all attached to it. If somebody will not do that inside a fortnight I stop, politely, and I have never once regretted it.
Thirty eight, dominant, up the hill, twelve years in this. All four of my dynamics began this way. The reason is not impatience. It is that I am a completely different proposition in a room than on a page, and so is everybody else, and I have watched people build a version of me out of paragraphs and then be visibly disappointed by the original.
I know this cuts against how the board here works. People take a long time, and there are good reasons for that in a city where everybody is two steps apart, and I am not dismissing them. I would simply rather do the careful part face to face.
What I want is a long dynamic. Service, standing rules, a set evening, correction that is spoken. I am strict about the things I have said matter and relaxed about everything else, and I am told the gap between the two is disconcerting.
Not looking for a correspondence, however good. Not looking for anyone who needs weeks of reassurance before an hour in daylight, because the hour in daylight is the reassurance. Not looking for a person who will agree to meet and then move it three times, which is its own answer.