An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches the northern quarter, Manchester

Back from London after twelve years, and finding this much easier

Posted as came_back_north

Looking for
one person for something slow, either way round
Experience
Nine years, mostly in a much bigger and colder pool.
Around
the northern quarter, Manchester

I did nine years of this in London, where there was always somebody new and never anybody who stayed. I moved back in February for a job and to be nearer my dad, and the difference has surprised me. Fewer people. Considerably more of them still around three months later.

Thirty five, switch, in a flat above the noise in the northern quarter. I lead maybe two thirds of the time and the other third matters to me more than the ratio suggests, which is a thing I only worked out in my thirties.

The downside of a smaller board is exactly what everyone says: I have already worked out that two people I have written to know each other, and one of them knows somebody I went to school with. I have decided I can live with that. Twelve years of endless choice taught me that endless choice is mostly a way of never deciding.

So I am after one person, slowly, either way round, with a proper conversation about which of us is doing what and when. I am happy for that to change over months. I am not happy for it to be renegotiated every time we see each other.

I am sociable, I cook, and I am usually the one who suggests leaving. Not looking for someone who wants me to pick a side permanently. Not looking for anything that only exists at weekends, because my weekends are mostly family at the minute.

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