I lead with men and I follow with women, and that is settled
Posted as depends_who
- Looking for
- either half of that, from someone who will not find it odd
- Experience
- Twenty years, and it has been this way the entire time.
- Around
- the city centre, Manchester
It has taken me most of twenty years to stop apologising for the shape of this, so I will just say it. With men I lead. With women I do not. It has been consistent since I was in my twenties, I have stopped trying to explain it, and I no longer treat it as a problem to be solved.
Forty seven, city centre, and I have had this conversation enough times to predict the three responses. One is that I have not met the right man yet. Two is that I am not really a switch. Three is somebody deciding to test which one I am within about six messages. All three are why this post exists in the form it does.
What I want is not complicated. Either half of it, with somebody who takes the arrangement at face value. I am happy to be the only one of us who goes both ways. I am equally happy with another switch as long as we are honest about which combinations actually work rather than pretending all four do.
I am talkative, I am quite formal when I am leading and much less so otherwise, and the gap between the two apparently unsettles people who have only seen one.
Not looking for anyone who wants to be the exception that changes it. Not looking to explain my own orientation to somebody at length again. Not looking for anything at all this side of a proper conversation in daylight.