An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Couples Didsbury, Manchester

One of us is disabled, and care and service are not the same thing

Posted as care_is_not_service

Looking for
a submissive who understands the difference we are drawing here
Experience
Together twelve years, in this for nine, one previous arrangement.
Around
Didsbury, Manchester

I have a progressive condition and I need help with a number of practical things every day. My husband is not my carer, we pay two people for that, and protecting that line is the reason we are careful about the post you are reading. Because when a couple in our position looks for a submissive, some people assume the vacancy is unpaid care work with a nicer name on it. It is not. Nobody is going to be lifting me, washing me, or doing anything that a professional does for me. If any of that appeals to you, we are not the couple.

Forty five and forty seven, Didsbury, together twelve years, this in our marriage for nine. He leads. I lead less than I used to and more than people assume.

What we want is service in the ordinary domestic sense. Order in the house, cooking, errands, standards, and a place in our week. Someone who is here because of the dynamic, not because of my diagnosis, and who is comfortable that a certain amount of medical equipment is simply part of the furniture.

We are slow, we meet in public more than once, and we will ask direct questions.

Not looking for anybody with a caring interest in disability. Not looking for someone who will treat me as fragile, which annoys me more than almost anything. Not looking for a person who wants only one of us.

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