We separated two years ago and the dynamic did not end with it
Posted as still_in_the_house
- Looking for
- one dominant for her, from two people who share a house
- Experience
- Fifteen years together, twelve of them in this, two years separated.
- Around
- Stockport, Manchester
We are not a couple in the way that word is usually meant here, and if we do not explain that in the first paragraph the rest of this will read very strangely. We were married for eleven years. We separated two years ago, we still own the same house, and we still live in it, one of us upstairs and one down, because of the mortgage and because we actually get on.
What did not end was the dynamic. He leads, I follow, and after twelve years that turned out to be more durable than the marriage was. Our friends find this baffling. We have stopped explaining it to them.
Forty three and forty six, Stockport. What we are looking for is a second dominant, for me, with his knowledge and involvement in the negotiation but not in anything else. He is not looking for anyone. He is not going to be part of it. He is here because anything that affects the house affects him, and because after fifteen years his judgement about people is better than mine.
I am aware this is an unusual arrangement to walk into and that some people will find it too complicated. That is a fair reaction and I would rather you had it now.
Not looking for anyone who wants to make him a rival. Not looking for someone who will treat this as evidence that we are unfinished business, because we are not. Not looking to move quickly.