An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

Signed out. You are reading, not posting. Log In Sign Up

Submissives the city centre, Manchester

Asexual and submissive, and no, those two things are not in conflict

Posted as no_sex_not_a_phase

Looking for
a dominant who wants obedience without anything sexual attached
Experience
Six years, three dynamics, none of them sexual and all of them real.
Around
the city centre, Manchester

I am asexual. I am also submissive, deeply and consistently, and I have spent six years explaining to people that these are not two settings on the same dial. The number of times I have been told that the right dominant will change my mind about the first part is now well into double figures, and it is the single most tiring thing about doing this.

Thirty seven, city centre, six years in, three dynamics, the longest of them two and a half years and none of them with any sexual element at all.

What I respond to is authority and structure. Being told. Being expected to. Kneeling, protocol, service, correction, all of it done properly and none of it as a preamble to something else. Everybody who has done this with me has said afterwards that it was more intense than they expected, not less, and I think that is because nothing was being saved for later.

I work in a lab, I keep unglamorous hours, and I am a great deal more relaxed in person than this reads.

Not looking for someone who will agree to my terms now and renegotiate them in month four. Not looking to be a curiosity. Not looking for a person who wants to know what I do about that, which is not a question anybody asks a stranger about anything else and I am not going to start answering it.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

Before you answer this

The handbook covers the part that comes next. These three are the ones that matter to a post like this one.

Also in Manchester

All posts in Manchester →

You have read one. Now write one.

Write a post like this where the people reading it are near you, and answer the ones that are already there.

Write your post Already a member? Log in