Fifty one, twenty five years in, and I have never joined anything
Posted as not_a_joiner
- Looking for
- one friendship that turns into something, at its own speed
- Experience
- Twenty five years, four long relationships, no group involvement at all.
- Around
- Didsbury, Manchester
I have been doing this since the mid nineties and I have never belonged to anything. No group, no circle, no crowd who all know each other. Four long relationships, each of which contained all of this, and in between them very little. It is not shyness and it is not disapproval of anyone else. I simply do not want to be in a scene, and after twenty five years I have stopped expecting that to change.
Fifty one, Didsbury, switch, and the leading and the following are about even and always have been.
Which means my problem is a specific one. The usual advice is to go and meet people and let something grow out of that, and the thing I want is the something without the crowd it is supposed to grow from. So I am posting instead, and being honest that I am slow.
What I want is one person. A friendship first, months of it, and then whatever we both turn out to want. I am not in any rush. Three of the four relationships I mentioned started as a friendship that took the better part of a year to become anything else, and I have never once regretted the pace.
Not looking to be introduced around. Not looking for anything that needs me to turn up somewhere with forty strangers. Not looking for a person who will find my lack of a social life in this suspicious, because it is not hiding anything, it is just how I am.