Yes she knows, no she is not involved, and that will not change
Posted as question_everyone_asks
- Looking for
- one connection of my own, with someone who is fine with the shape of it
- Experience
- Ten years, two dynamics since we opened things up, both short.
- Around
- Didsbury, Manchester
The first question is always the same, so here is the answer in the first line. My wife knows. She has known for eleven years. She has no interest in any of this herself, she does not want to meet anybody, and she does not want to hear the details. That was negotiated properly, over about a year, and it is not a loophole I am exploiting.
Forty one, Didsbury, switch, married sixteen years and open for eleven of them.
What I have found is that being honest about it costs me a certain number of replies and saves me a great deal of time. The people who are not comfortable with a married person are right to say so early. The people who assume that means I am careless about it are usually the ones who wanted me to be.
What I want is one connection that is mine, ongoing, with a real conversation in it. I lead about half the time. My free evenings are Tuesday and Thursday and one weekend in three, and I am not going to invent more than that.
Not looking to fall in love with anybody, which I say bluntly because it has been an issue once and it was my fault for being vague. Not looking for someone who wants to meet my wife or become a friend of the household. Not looking for anything that requires me to lie to her, ever, about anything.