An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches Stockport, Manchester

Everything I know about this I learned from one person

Posted as one_person_only

Looking for
somebody patient with a person who has only ever done this once
Experience
Eleven years, all of it with the same partner, none of it with anyone else.
Around
Stockport, Manchester

I was with the same person from twenty one to thirty two. All of this was in it, from about the second year, and we worked it out between us with no reference to anybody else at all. Then she left, for ordinary reasons, and I found myself thirty two years old and completely unable to do any of this with a stranger.

Thirty two, Stockport, switch, and it turns out that eleven years of experience with one person is a strange kind of qualification. I know a great deal about what she and I did. I know almost nothing about how any of it is meant to work when you have not already known someone for a decade.

Things I have discovered in the last year and found genuinely difficult: negotiating with someone whose face I cannot read yet, saying what I want out loud rather than by long established habit, and the fact that other people use these words to mean slightly different things.

What I want is somebody who will be patient with that. I am not a beginner and I am not experienced in the way that word usually means. Either side works for me and I would rather talk about it than pick from a menu.

Not looking for someone who wants to hear a lot about her. Not looking to be rushed toward anything physical while I am still learning how to talk to a new person. Not looking for anything casual, which I have tried twice and was very bad at.

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