I spent eight years kneeling and I am on the other side now
Posted as other_side_of_it
- Looking for
- a submissive who does not need me to pretend I have always led
- Experience
- Eight years submitting, two years leading, still adjusting.
- Around
- Salford, Manchester
For eight years I was on the other end of this. I was good at it and I meant it. Then a relationship ended, and in the year after it I worked out that what I actually wanted was to be the one holding the thing up, which was not a comfortable discovery about myself and took a while to sit with.
Thirty one, Salford, two years leading now. What I have found hardest is not the practical side. It is that I know exactly what it feels like from below, which makes me check in more than most people want. I have been told twice that I ask if someone is alright so often that it breaks the whole thing. I am working on it. I would rather over correct in that direction than the other one.
What I want is one submissive, ongoing, and preferably someone who has done this before and can tell me plainly when I am getting it wrong. I am not looking for deference to my experience, because I do not have that much of it in this direction.
What I do have is eight years of knowing what carelessness feels like from underneath, and I do not intend to hand that on to anybody.
Not looking for someone who wants a dominant with all the answers. Not looking to be tested. Not looking for anybody who thinks my history means I am secretly still a switch, which I have considered honestly and I am not.