An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches South Beach, Miami

Came for three months, still here four years later

Posted as came_for_three_months

Looking for
somebody who has also accidentally settled here
Experience
Nine years, both sides, and four of them improvised.
Around
South Beach, Miami

I came down for a three month project in the spring of a year I now think of as the beginning of everything. I did not unpack properly for eighteen months. I have now been here four years, I have a lease, a dentist and a favorite place to sit, and I still describe myself to my family as being here temporarily.

Thirty eight, South Beach, switch, nine years in.

The reason that matters for this board is that for two of those four years I behaved like somebody passing through. I did not build anything. I met people, enjoyed them, and never once said the word ongoing, because in the back of my head I was leaving in the spring. Two people were hurt by that and both were owed better.

I am past it now, which is the entire point of the post. I want something with a future in it. Structure, a weekly rhythm, a person whose year I am part of.

I go both ways, more or less evenly, and I want somebody who can do the same, or who at least finds it interesting rather than confusing.

If you are here on a contract and honest about it, I am not going to lecture you. I was you. I would just rather find the other kind of person this time.

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