The last one ended badly, so I am going to be slow about this
Posted as after_a_bad_one
- Looking for
- somebody who will not be insulted by conditions I now insist on
- Experience
- Seven years. Two good dynamics and one that took me eighteen months to leave.
- Around
- the south west, Moscow
Nothing happened that would make a dramatic story. That is rather the point. It was slow and it was mostly about who I was allowed to see. First it was one friend he did not like, then it was most of them, then it was that I should check before making plans, and each step was small enough to look reasonable on its own.
I got out eighteen months ago with help from the one friend who had kept writing to me anyway. Thirty six, switch, the south west, seven years in this altogether, and two dynamics before that one which were both genuinely good, so I know the difference and I am not writing this from fear of the whole thing.
What I now insist on, and will not be argued out of: I keep my own friendships and I do not report on them. I tell at least one person outside this where I am going. Nothing is agreed in the first two months that cannot be undone in an afternoon. And I will say no to things for no reason other than not wanting to, occasionally, as a test, and I would rather admit that in advance than pretend I have stopped needing to.
If any of that reads as an accusation aimed at you, it is not, and if it reads as an insult, we would not have worked anyway.
I am cheerful, I lead more than I follow now, and I am much less fragile than this post makes me sound. Not looking for anything exclusive early. Not looking to be handled carefully.