I lead far more than I want to, because that is what people ask
Posted as nobody_else_will
- Looking for
- somebody who will actually take charge of me for a change
- Experience
- Sixteen years, four dynamics, and about ninety per cent of it spent leading.
- Around
- the centre, Moscow
Count the posts here. Count how many are people wanting to be led and how many are people offering to lead. Now understand why a switch who can do both ends up doing one of them almost exclusively for sixteen years. It is not a complaint about anybody. It is arithmetic, and I have been on the wrong end of it for most of my adult life.
Forty five, switch, the centre. Four dynamics, all of them ones where I led, three of them good. Every single time, the plan was that we would take turns, and every single time the other person turned out to want the turns in theory.
So let me be unambiguous, because subtlety has got me nowhere. What I want now is to be led. Properly, not as a favour, not as a fortnightly experiment, and not by somebody who is quietly counting the days until I take the wheel back. I still want to lead sometimes and I am very good at it, but it cannot be the main current again.
What I am like on that side: obedient, precise, quiet, and completely unable to fake respect I do not feel. I need somebody more experienced than me at leading, or at least somebody who has not just started.
I work in publishing, I am extremely organised, I am told I am intimidating, which is part of the problem. Not looking for somebody who wants me to teach them how to lead me. Not looking for an occasional swap. Not looking to be told I am not really a switch, which I have heard from both directions now.