An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches inside the ring road, Moscow

What I actually want is to know six people who understand this

Posted as here_for_the_people

Looking for
a circle rather than a partner, and I am not being coy about it
Experience
Ten years, two dynamics, and almost no acquaintances in any of it.
Around
inside the ring road, Moscow

Ten years in and I know four people who know this about me. Two of them are former partners, one has moved away, and one I see perhaps twice a year. That is not a social circle. It means every conversation I have about the most significant thing in my life has to be with somebody I am also considering going to bed with, and that is a stupid way to live.

Thirty five, switch, inside the ring road. I know exactly how this happened. Everything here runs on introductions, and to be introduced you have to already know somebody, and I arrived without knowing anybody and never solved the first step.

So I am asking for the first step directly. I would like to know people. Coffee, long conversations, the exchange of hard won practical knowledge, arguments about things that only matter to us. If in two years a dynamic came out of that circle, wonderful, and if it did not I would still be enormously better off than I am now.

I am good company, I am discreet by long habit, and I am the person who remembers what you told him in March. I lead and follow about equally, for whatever that is worth in a post that is not really about that.

Not looking for anything immediate. Not looking for a partner disguised as a friend, in either direction, and I will say so plainly if I start feeling otherwise. Not looking to join anything organised, because that is not what I mean and it is not what I want.

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