I want an evening, not an hour, and that rules most people out
Posted as evening_not_hour
- Looking for
- someone with the time and the appetite for something unhurried
- Experience
- Nineteen years, four dynamics, all of them slow.
- Around
- Queens, New York
The most common thing that has not worked for me is time. Not compatibility, not limits, not any of the things people negotiate carefully. Time. I want long, unhurried evenings, and most people can offer ninety minutes between one obligation and the next.
Forty eight, Queens, dominant, nineteen years in. What I mean by an evening: arriving without a plan for leaving. Nothing timed. Long stretches in which not much is happening, and that being the point, because what I am after is a state that takes hours to arrive at and cannot be rushed into existence because somebody has an early start.
Which means I am realistically looking for someone whose Saturdays are their own. Shift workers, people who work from home, people without small children at home, or people who are simply well organised. I am not being fussy for the sake of it. I have tried the compressed version and it does not work, for me or for the person I am with.
I can host. I live alone. I am patient in a way that some people find unnerving.
Not looking for anyone who needs to be somewhere afterwards. Not looking for a first meeting that is anything other than a public conversation. Not looking for someone who reads all of this as a challenge to prove they can fit me into a Tuesday.