An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants Manhattan, New York

Twenty nine, dominant, and extremely careful about who knows

Posted as desk_and_collar

Looking for
a submissive who understands discretion without taking it personally
Experience
Five years, two dynamics, both of them entirely private.
Around
Manhattan, New York

I work in a field where my name is attached to things, and a photograph of me in the wrong place would end a career I have spent seven years building. That is not paranoia, it is a description of the industry, and it shapes everything about how I do this.

Twenty nine, Manhattan, dominant, five years in. What discretion means in practice: no photographs of my face, ever, to anyone, at any stage. Nothing written down that identifies me. I will not add you anywhere. I will meet you in person early, precisely because I would rather build trust face to face than accumulate a trail behind us.

I am aware this asks a great deal of the person on the other side, and that it can read as though I am hiding a wife. I am not. I live alone and I am attached to nobody.

What I want is a dynamic that runs quietly for a long time. I am good at it. I am attentive, I plan carefully, and I do not disappear for a fortnight.

Not looking for anyone who wants to be seen with me at things. Not looking for anyone who will treat my caution as a puzzle to be solved. And not looking for someone who needs regular reassurance that the secrecy is not about them, because it is genuinely not, and I can only say that convincingly once.

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