An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants Manhattan, New York

Moved here for work eight months ago and know precisely nobody

Posted as back_in_the_city

Looking for
a submissive, and honestly also some friends
Experience
Seven years, all of it in a much smaller city.
Around
Manhattan, New York

I moved here in November for a job. The job is good. The rest of it has been harder than I expected, and I did not expect it to be easy.

Where I came from, the scene was about forty people and everyone knew everyone, which had obvious problems and one enormous advantage: you could not be a stranger. Here I am one of thousands, and I have discovered that a large pool is not at all the same thing as an easy one.

Thirty four, dominant, Manhattan, seven years in and every one of them somewhere much smaller. I am competent at this. I am also, socially, starting from zero, and I am aware that reads oddly for someone my age. What I want, in order: to know some people, and then to find one submissive and build something real. I am not going to pretend the second is not the main thing, but I have learned the hard way that doing it without the first produces a very lonely sort of dynamic.

So this post is half a personal ad and half an admission. If you have been here for years and understand how any of it works, I would be glad of a coffee even if there is nothing else in it.

Not looking to be shown around and then dropped. Not looking for anyone who wants intensity before familiarity.

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