Read this whole post before you write to me, please
Posted as not_your_therapist
- Looking for
- an adult with a full life who wants a dynamic inside it
- Experience
- Sixteen years. Currently unattached and in no rush to change that.
- Around
- Manhattan, New York
Four of the last six people who wrote to me were in the middle of a crisis and looking for somebody to take the wheel of their entire life. I am sympathetic. I am not equipped, I am not qualified, and a dynamic is a poor substitute for the help those people actually needed.
So, plainly. I am not your therapist. I am not your parent. I am not the solution to a bad year.
Forty three, Manhattan, dominant, sixteen years in and unattached by choice for the last one. Who I am looking for: an adult with a functioning life, friends, work she cares about, and an appetite for a structured dynamic that sits inside all of that rather than replacing it. I want somebody who could walk away from me tomorrow and be perfectly fine, and who stays anyway. That is the only version of this I find interesting.
I am direct, occasionally to the point of rudeness, and I will tell you when something is not working rather than letting it quietly rot. I expect the same and I am genuinely not offended by it.
Not looking for anyone under thirty, not out of any principle, simply because it has not worked. Not looking for someone who wants to be owned by week two. Not looking for a long correspondence: two or three messages and then a coffee, or neither.