Switch looking for a switch, which is harder than it sounds
Posted as both_ends_of_it
- Looking for
- somebody who can genuinely do both, not just tolerate it
- Experience
- Six years, three dynamics, two with people who could not switch back.
- Around
- north Brooklyn, New York
The problem with being a switch is not finding a partner. It is finding a partner who can actually go the other way, rather than politely enduring it once a quarter so that you will stop asking.
I have done that twice now. Both times the other person said switch on their profile and meant it the way people mean they will try any food once.
Thirty two, north Brooklyn, six years in. I lead about half the time and I am better at it than I am at the other half, if I am honest, but the half I am worse at is the one I need more.
What I am looking for is somebody with a genuine appetite for both, who can flip without a two hour negotiation each time, and who does not treat whichever side they are on as a favour being done. Some people work this out with a schedule. Some work it out by mood. I do not mind which, as long as it is real.
Practical: north Brooklyn, I can host on weekdays, my job is normal and finishes at a normal time. Not looking for someone who will be dominant on the condition that I ask nicely first. Not looking for anyone still working out what they are, not because there is anything wrong with that, but because I have twice been the experiment and it is a bad role to be handed.