No idea which one I will be in August, and that is fine
Posted as depends_on_the_week
- Looking for
- someone flexible enough to find that interesting rather than annoying
- Experience
- Eleven years, and it has never once been consistent.
- Around
- Manhattan, New York
There is a version of me that is very much in charge and a version that very much is not, and in eleven years I have never worked out what moves me between them. It is not stress. I have checked. It is not the season, it is not who I am with, it is not anything I can put on a calendar for you.
Forty one, Manhattan, and yes, I am aware this makes me a difficult proposition. The people who have found it easiest were other switches and, oddly, one very secure dominant who simply told me to say which one I was on the day and treated the whole thing like the weather. That worked for two years and I still think about how little fuss she made of it.
What works: talking on the day. A relationship in which the question carries no weight. Someone who does not need me to be one fixed thing in order for them to be the other thing consistently.
What does not work: being asked to commit to a role for a month at a time so somebody can plan around it. I have tried, twice, in good faith. I was miserable both times and so were they.
I am chatty, I am not remotely mysterious, and I will over explain things at you until told to stop, at which point I will find being told quite interesting. Not looking for anyone who wants me to pick. Eleven years is a long time to be confused.