An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants north Brooklyn, New York

Six years submissive, now trying the other chair, and saying so

Posted as first_time_leading

Looking for
a submissive who is comfortable with someone learning to lead
Experience
Six years submissive, four months dominant, all of it careful.
Around
north Brooklyn, New York

I spent six years on the receiving end of this and I was happy there. Then last winter I ended up leading a scene for a friend who asked, and something clicked so hard I have not stopped thinking about it since.

Four months later I am fairly sure this is where I belong. I am also aware that four months is nothing, and I am not going to pretend to a competence I have not earned yet.

Thirty, north Brooklyn. There is one thing I have that most new dominants do not: six years of knowing exactly what it feels like when somebody gets this wrong. I know what a lazy check in sounds like. I know the specific silence of a person who has stopped enjoying something and does not want to spoil it. I noticed those things from underneath for years and I notice them now.

What I want is one person to go slowly with, who understands what they are getting. Someone experienced would honestly suit me better than someone brand new, because I would rather be with a person who can tell me plainly when I have missed something.

Not looking for anyone who wants a finished product. Not looking for anyone who thinks this makes me a switch, because I have been asked four times now and the answer is no. I have changed chairs, not split myself in half.

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