An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches the Bronx, New York

Very quiet person, would like a friend in this before anything else

Posted as library_voice

Looking for
friendship first, honestly, with no timeline attached to it
Experience
Two years, mostly reading, one dynamic that lasted six weeks.
Around
the Bronx, New York

I am not good at this part. I have written and deleted this post about nine times and I suspect it still reads as nervous, which is accurate.

Twenty six, the Bronx, switch, two years of knowing this about myself and one six week dynamic that ended because I could not keep up with how quickly it was moving and did not know how to say so. That is the thing I have learned about myself. I need to know somebody before I can be honest with them, and I cannot safely do any of this with somebody I cannot be honest with. Which means the usual order does not work for me at all.

So what I am asking for first is a friend. Somebody in this who I can talk to about it with no outcome attached. If that turns into something else in six months because both of us want it to, wonderful. If it does not, I will have a friend, which is more than I have now.

I am aware this is not what a personals board is for, and I am posting it anyway. I read a great deal, I am much funnier in writing than in person, and I am trying to get better at being in rooms with people.

Not looking for anyone who will interpret patience as a strategy. Not looking to be pushed. I go quiet when pushed, and then I feel guilty about it for a week.

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