Submissive with a chronic illness, looking for someone who can adapt
Posted as linen_closet_j
- Looking for
- a dominant who treats a bad day as information rather than failure
- Experience
- Nine years, several dynamics, three of them long.
- Around
- Brooklyn, New York
I have an autoimmune condition. Most weeks it is background noise. Some weeks it puts me flat on my back for three days with no warning, and I use a cane on the bad ones.
This is not a tragedy and I am not asking anyone to be a carer. It is a set of constraints, and I lead with it because every dynamic I have had has either worked because the other person could adapt, or failed because they could not.
Thirty six, Brooklyn, submissive, nine years in. I know my body extremely well. I can tell you which positions I can hold and for how long, what will cost me the next day, and where the line sits between an ache I enjoy and damage I will still be paying for on Thursday. That knowledge is useful to a dominant who wants to use it, and inconvenient to one who would rather I pushed through.
What I want is a long dynamic with someone thoughtful. Someone who plans around a flare instead of sulking about it. Someone who understands that when I cancel, I have already spent an hour trying to find a way not to. The three arrangements that lasted all had one thing in common, which is that the other person asked me at the start what a bad week looked like and then wrote it down.
I am not looking for anyone who wants to fix me, recommend a diet, or tell me about their aunt. I am not looking for someone who treats a limit set by my body as a challenge. And I am not looking for anything that only ever happens on somebody else's schedule, because mine is not entirely mine.