An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives Queens, New York

Submissive, no pain, and yes I know that confuses people

Posted as no_pain_thanks

Looking for
obedience and structure without a single implement involved
Experience
Seven years, four dynamics, none of them involving impact.
Around
Queens, New York

Every third post on this board lists a set of implements. Good for them. I am not interested in any of it and never have been, and I am tired of explaining that this is not a beginner's caution I will eventually grow out of.

Thirty eight, Queens, submissive, seven years in. Four dynamics, all of them real, none of them involving being hit with anything. What I respond to is authority. Being told. Being expected to. Having someone hold a standard I am measured against, and notice when I fall short of it. The correction I want is a conversation I do not enjoy having, not a bruise.

Three people in the last year have told me I am not really submissive. One of them explained my own orientation to me for eleven minutes before I stopped replying. If that instinct exists in you at all, save us both the time.

I work in insurance, I am dull on paper, and I am extremely good at doing what I am told when I respect the person telling me. Respect is the entire hinge and it is not automatic. It comes from watching someone be consistent about small things for longer than they thought I was watching.

Not looking for someone who will negotiate me toward pain in month three. Not looking for a service arrangement where the point is the chores. Not looking to be anybody's project or anybody's exception.

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