An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Couples the Bronx, New York

Once a month, the same person, for as long as it works

Posted as monthly_and_steady

Looking for
one regular connection rather than a series of new ones
Experience
Together eleven years, five of them meeting people, badly at first.
Around
the Bronx, New York

We have tried the version of this where you meet a great many people, and we are done with it. It was exhausting, most of it was disappointing, and the good parts were always with somebody we had already met before.

Thirty four and thirty seven, the Bronx, together eleven years, five of them with this in our life. So we are posting for one connection, seen about once a month, for as long as it suits everybody involved. Not a search, not a rotation. Somebody we know well enough that nobody has to explain themselves from scratch every time.

Once a month is deliberate rather than apologetic. We both work, we have a child at home, and the honest amount of energy we have for anything outside our own house is roughly one evening in four weeks. Pretending otherwise is what made the last two years so hard.

We are looking for a dominant, of any gender, for both of us. We are both submissive and that is settled.

Not looking for daily messages between meetings, although a check in is welcome. Not looking for anyone who will find once a month insulting, which is a real reaction we have had twice. Not looking for anything that requires us to travel far out of the Bronx on a weeknight.

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