Established couple, both fifties, looking for one person and a long arrangement
Posted as she_writes_he_reads
- Looking for
- a submissive for a defined role within an established household
- Experience
- Twenty two years together, seventeen with a structure, two long arrangements.
- Around
- Manhattan, New York
I write these and he reads them before they go up, which is roughly how the whole household works.
We are fifty four and fifty seven, together twenty two years, in Manhattan. Our marriage has had a structure in it for seventeen of those, with me leading, which surprises people who meet him first.
We have had two arrangements with a third person, one of five years and one of two. Both ended well and we are still in touch with both of them. That is the model we would like to repeat: one person, a defined place in the household, a role understood by all three of us and written down, and a length measured in years rather than months.
What that actually looks like day to day is far more domestic than dramatic. Standing duties, regular evenings, and a great deal of ordinary time in each other's company. The people who have been happiest with us were the ones who wanted to belong somewhere, rather than the ones who wanted intensity. Both of them kept their own homes and their own friends throughout, and we would insist on that again, because the one thing that would worry us is somebody arriving with nothing else in their life.
We move slowly. Months, not weeks, before anything is settled. Everybody meets everybody in public first, more than once. Not looking for someone who wants only one of us. Not looking for anyone hoping to be rescued from a bad situation. Not looking for a person under thirty, because both previous arrangements taught us that too large a gap made the household lopsided in ways nobody had intended.