The third message does not have to be a photograph request
Posted as no_photos_first
- Looking for
- someone who can hold a conversation without a face attached
- Experience
- Nine years, plenty of it, and none of it started with pictures.
- Around
- Queens, New York
It happens in the third message, almost every time, and by now I can feel it coming in the second. The conversation is going well, we are genuinely talking, and then: got any pics.
Forty four, Queens, switch, nine years. I am not precious about it. I understand that people want to know. I will exchange photographs at the point where we have decided to meet, which is a decision I make based on how somebody writes and what they say, not on their jaw.
The reason is not modesty. It is that in nine years, every connection that mattered started with a conversation that went on long enough to become interesting, and every one that started with an exchange of pictures burned out inside a month. That is not a moral position. It is a pattern I have watched in my own life and I am acting on it.
I switch, roughly evenly, and I am up front that I am better at leading and happier not leading. I am in Queens, I will travel across the city for something real, I have an ordinary job, a small apartment and a cat with opinions.
Not looking for anyone who needs to see a face before they will invest a sentence. Not looking for anyone who says of course, entirely reasonable, and then asks again on Thursday.