Six years of this on a screen, none of it in a room
Posted as six_years_online
- Looking for
- someone willing to be the first person I actually meet
- Experience
- Six years online. Nothing in person, ever.
- Around
- the Bronx, New York
Everything I know I learned by typing. Six years of long distance dynamics, two of them serious, one lasting nearly two years with someone I never met in the same country. I was good at it. I was also, if I am honest with myself, hiding.
I am twenty nine, in the Bronx, and I have never done any of this in a room with another person.
I know how that sounds. I know there is a version of me that reads as a fantasy which will evaporate the moment it becomes real, and I cannot prove otherwise from a post. What I can say is that I have thought carefully about why I stayed on a screen for six years, and the answer was fear rather than preference, and I would like to stop.
What I want first is to meet somewhere ordinary, in daylight, and talk for an hour with nothing attached to it. If that goes well, again. If it does not, I will say so rather than disappearing, which is more than the last three people managed with me. I would rather it were somebody in the Bronx or upper Manhattan, mostly so that the first meeting is small enough not to feel like an expedition I have built up for a fortnight.
I am not looking for someone who wants to keep it online. I have done that thoroughly. I am not looking to be tested on how obedient I am before we have met in person. And I am not looking for anyone who thinks six years of experience counts for nothing, because it counts for something. Just not for the part I am missing.