An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the 20th, Paris

I work away on rotation and I am home eleven days a month

Posted as back_on_thursday

Looking for
a dominant who can hold a structure through my absences
Experience
Nine years, two dynamics, one ended over exactly this.
Around
the 20th, Paris

I am away for three weeks and home for eleven days, and that has been my life for eight years. It is the reason for everything else in this post and the reason two people have quietly given up on me.

Thirty six, Paris, submissive, nine years. When I am away I have limited contact and it is often at strange hours and sometimes not for two days. When I am home I am completely available and slightly manic about it, which I am told is exhausting in its own way.

What works is a dynamic with a strong written structure: things I do daily out there, things I report when I can, rules that exist whether or not anybody is watching. My good dynamic ran three years on that basis. The one that failed was with somebody who needed to hear from me every evening and who could not stop reading silence as absence, and I do not blame him at all.

What I want is service and order and being held to a standard. Very little pain. A great deal of routine, which sounds odd from somebody whose life has none of it, and is presumably exactly why.

I have a flat here that sits empty most of the month and I can host when I am home. If you have your own life running properly and would like a person who is intensely present eleven days a month and dutiful the rest of the time, we should talk.

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