An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the Marais, Paris

Thirty six, dominant, and I am not going to teach you

Posted as not_a_teacher

Looking for
a submissive with their own experience and their own opinions
Experience
Fourteen years leading, three dynamics, all with experienced people.
Around
the Marais, Paris

Roughly seven out of ten messages I receive are from people who have never done any of this and would like me to introduce them to it. I have no interest in that role. I am saying it in the first paragraph so that the other three out of ten get to the end.

Thirty six, Paris, dominant, fourteen years. This is not unkindness towards beginners. It is that mentoring somebody makes an enormous asymmetry out of what should be a negotiation between two people who both know what they are doing, and I do not enjoy the version of myself that appears when I am in that position. I have been it twice and I did not like either of us.

What I want is a submissive with years behind them, opinions about their own limits, and the ability to say that something is not working without a three week build up. Someone who has been in a dynamic that ended and can tell me honestly why.

The dynamic I run is domestic and long. Rules, service, protocol with a purpose, and correction that is verbal. Very little impact. Nothing performed. I am direct, I answer messages, and I will tell you plainly if I do not think it fits.

To beginners reading this: there is nothing wrong with you, there are people here who genuinely enjoy starting somebody off, and they are better at it than I am. Please write to them and not to me, and I promise it is not a test.

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