Ask me about the dynamic first and the ramp second
Posted as the_second_question
- Looking for
- a dominant who plans access without making it the subject
- Experience
- Nine years, three dynamics, one of them five years long.
- Around
- the inner suburbs, Paris
I use a wheelchair. It is the first question in ninety per cent of the messages I receive and I understand why, and I would still like, once, for somebody to ask what I want from a dynamic before they ask about my apartment building.
Forty two, Paris, submissive, nine years. Three dynamics, the longest of them five years, which ended for the ordinary reason that we wanted different lives. None of them ended over access, which surprises people, and which I think says more about the two of us planning properly than about luck.
Here is the practical reality, stated once so we can move on. This city is difficult and I know exactly which parts of it I can get to. I will tell you plainly whether somewhere works. I would rather be asked than have somebody guess and get it wrong out of politeness. My own apartment is accessible and I can host, which turns out to solve most of it.
What I want inside a dynamic is service, structure and correction, and I want to be genuinely useful rather than accommodated. That last word has done more damage to my life than any staircase. I am direct, I write long messages, and I have very little patience for delicacy.
Not looking for anybody who is interested in the chair. Not looking for anyone who needs to tell me how inspiring I am, which has happened twice and ended the conversation both times. And not looking to be somebody's demonstration of their own open mindedness.