I lost a year to being ill and I am starting again
Posted as after_the_hospital
- Looking for
- somebody unhurried while I work out what I still want
- Experience
- Eleven years, both directions, then fourteen months of nothing.
- Around
- Niterói side, Rio de Janeiro
I was ill for most of last year, seriously enough that everything else stopped, and I am now well and rebuilding a life that quietly dismantled itself while I was not looking. Friends drifted. A dynamic ended, kindly. I did not notice at the time because I was not noticing anything.
Forty three, Niterói side, switch, eleven years before all that and about two months back.
The strange part is that I do not know whether I want the same things. I assumed I would pick up where I left off and instead I find myself unsure about half of it. Some things that used to matter enormously now seem like somebody else's interests. Other things I never cared about have started to appeal.
So I am asking for patience while I work it out, and I would rather admit that than write a confident post and then change my mind on somebody in month two. What I am fairly sure of: I want something long, I want structure in it, and I want to be able to do both sides. I am not interested in anything that requires a lot of physical stamina yet.
I live alone, I can host, and my energy is good but finite in a way it never used to be. Not looking for anybody who wants to hear about the illness in detail. Not looking to be handled gently. Not looking for something that has to be decided quickly.