Married thirty four years and we only started this three years ago
Posted as started_at_fifty_eight
- Looking for
- a couple who have been at this for decades and will simply talk
- Experience
- Together thirty four years, three of them with any of this in it.
- Around
- the centre, Rio de Janeiro
We were fifty eight and sixty when the subject arrived, and it arrived by accident, halfway through a disagreement about where to spend a holiday. Four months later we had talked of very little else and a marriage of three decades had quietly changed shape.
Sixty one and sixty three now, near the centre, married thirty four years, both retired. Starting something at this age turns out to be mostly wonderful and occasionally very lonely, because everybody we could ask about it is either forty years old or does not exist.
So what we are after is a couple who have been doing this for decades. Not to do anything with, at least not to begin with. To sit at a table with and ask the questions nobody puts in a post. What happens to it after twenty years. What do you do when one of you goes off something the other still wants. How much does a changing body change the arrangement, which is the part we actually need to know and the part nobody writes down.
She leads. That surprised both of us and it has been the best three years of a long marriage. If a friendship comes out of this we would be delighted, and anything beyond that would be a long way off and only with people we had come to know properly.
Not looking for anybody who wants to show us how it is done. Not looking to sit and watch. Not looking for guidance from a couple who are two years into it and certain about everything.