An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches the centre, São Paulo

Half my life is on the other side of the border

Posted as across_the_border_south

Looking for
somebody unfazed by a person who is constantly elsewhere
Experience
Six years, both directions, one dynamic of two years.
Around
the centre, São Paulo

My mother's family is Uruguayan and I have been crossing that border since I could walk. It means a long weekend away every month or so, a second language I dream in, and a slightly annoying tendency to compare everything in this city with somewhere a very long way south of it.

Thirty, São Paulo, switch, six years. My one real dynamic lasted two years and ended for ordinary reasons, and he never once minded the disappearing, which I now understand was not typical.

What I want is one person, either direction, over a long time. I follow slightly more than I lead. I like rules and restraint and being made to wait, and I have almost no interest in pain.

The practical issue is that I am away perhaps a week in every five, sometimes with little notice, and I am not going to stop. Anybody who needs weekly presence will find me exhausting by month three.

The other thing worth saying is that I am considerably more direct than most people here, which I am told is the Uruguayan half. I will ask what you want in the second message and I will not soften it much.

I live alone in a small place near the centre, I can host, and I work in a job with flexible hours.

I would like to be friends first and I mean it, though I am also aware I have said that on three previous occasions and then moved fast anyway, so hold me to it.

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