BDSM personals in São Paulo
São Paulo has the largest pool on this board outside New York and a culture that is sociable and unembarrassed. Posts here more often start from friendship and conversation than from a list of activities. The city's size is the practical problem: crossing it can take two hours at the wrong time of day, so people say which zone they are in and mean it.
Posts come from Vila Madalena, Pinheiros, the centre, the south zone and the east zone. People lead with where they are for a reason.
Dominants in São Paulo
People looking to lead, and saying what that means to them.
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São Paulo, and I am not the warm welcome you were promised
Looking for: a submissive who prefers reserve to enthusiasm
Seventeen years leading, three dynamics, all local.
Everybody arrives in this city expecting to be swept into somebody's kitchen by the end of the first week, and a good number of people here will do exactly that. I will not. I am not cold. I am simply not going to be your friend in an afternoon, and if that reads as coldness then we will both have to live with it.
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Sixty, and everything I do now happens in daylight
Looking for: a submissive who can be free on a weekday afternoon
Thirty three years, four arrangements, two of them very long.
Somewhere around fifty five I stopped enjoying anything that happened after ten at night, and rather than fight it I rebuilt the whole thing around the afternoon. It has been the single best decision I have made in this in three decades.
Submissives in São Paulo
People looking to submit, on terms they set out first.
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My rota and this city between them make presence almost impossible
Looking for: a dominant willing to run something almost entirely in writing
Nine years, one dynamic, six of those years almost entirely written.
People talk about long distance and mean another state. I mean the other end of this city, on a rota that changes every fortnight. There is no evening I can promise a month out. There is no Saturday I can promise at all until the list goes up, and those two facts have shaped nine years of my private life.
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Sixty one, and yes I am aware I am the oldest person here
Looking for: somebody who is not going to make my age the whole conversation
Twenty nine years, three dynamics, the longest sixteen.
I have been the oldest person in every room I have walked into for about eight years now and I have stopped finding it uncomfortable and started finding it funny. What I have not got used to is being treated as either fragile or remarkable, sometimes in the same message.
Switches in São Paulo
People who go both ways and want a partner who can follow.
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I work every weekend and nobody ever proposes a Tuesday
Looking for: somebody who can be free in the middle of the week
Two years, one short dynamic, and a lot of unanswered messages.
I work in a shop and I work every Saturday and most Sundays, which is true of an enormous number of people in this city and apparently invisible to everybody writing personal advertisements. Every proposal I have received in two years has been for a Friday or a Saturday night.
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Twenty five years in São Paulo and I have watched it change three times
Looking for: somebody who wants something long and is not new to it
Twenty five years, both directions, three long dynamics.
When I started, everything happened through people. Then it happened on forums, and everybody suddenly had vocabulary and nobody had any judgement. Now it happens on boards like this and the vocabulary has improved again and people are considerably better at negotiating and considerably worse at continuing.
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Too small to be anonymous, too big to know everybody
Looking for: one person here, or anywhere along the same line
Five years, both directions, two short dynamics.
The part of this city I live in has about four hundred thousand people in it, which turns out to be exactly the worst size for this. Too big for there to be a circle everybody is in. Too small for anything to be anonymous. I have twice recognised somebody from work on a board like this and both times we pretended it had not happened.
Couples in São Paulo
Partners searching together, with both of them in the post.
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We leave the city every February and we are not sorry
Looking for: a couple who also find that week unbearable
Together eight years, this openly between us for four.
Every year we shut the apartment, get in the car, and drive to a small town in the mountains for the whole week, and every year somebody tells us we are wasting living here. We have made our peace with being the two most boring people in São Paulo for seven days a year.
Writing your own
Reading fifty of these is the easy half. The handbook covers the rest.
- Writing a profile that says something
- Photographs, and staying anonymous enough
- The safety basics, in one page
- What a first meeting is actually like
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Write yours in São Paulo
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